Tag Archives: loveyourself

It Is Time For You To Put Yourself First

We have talked about how you can let go of the past and all that is holding you back, we’ve went over ways you can get over your fears and so much more. Now it is time to start putting yourself first! In this read, I will share ways that has helped me personally as well as others including my closet friends. By the end of this post you will be ready to finally start putting yourself first and hopefully without any guilt whatsoever.

Photo by Gian Cescon on Unsplash

First, let’s talk about WHY you need to start putting yourself first. For one, you’re probably exhausted right now and you NEED to REST! Second, it is a form of self love that everyone needs to practice! Third but not last, It helps us live a healthier life. Your physical an mental (possibly even spiritual) health depends on you practicing forms of self love… which include, putting yourself first! Now, we all heard about Jessie Gallan, the 109 year old woman who said her secret to living a long life was to avoid men! Now this could just be her adding humor and wanting to make people laugh but I think she was serious! Maybe avoiding men and being a strong independent woman was her way of putting herself first. Everyone puts themselves first in all kinds of ways. So to sum this up we can for sure interpret that her answer was, “self-love”.

Now let’s get to the ways we can put ourselves first:

  • Take care of your body – Take regular bubble baths or Epsom salt baths to help relieve tension and soreness in your body and be sure to moisturize all over after you get out of the shower. I like to take baths, relax, then shower and moisturize. It helps a ton! Also know when to quit, put your physical body first. Don’t forget to wash your hair and use a nice hair mask and face mask while bathing! Foot creams are also nice, especially if you’re on your feet all the time.
  • Write down your priorities – list things you will put first on your list to help you put yourself first.
  • Make sure to keep a balance between helping others and helping yourself to needs and wants – to help you balance simply create a T chart or go with the flow and remember there needs to be a balance. Balancing helps you put yourself first while allowing yourself to help others when they need it. Helpful when you have children or a significant other.
  • Make time for sleep – sleep purposely and plan to get 9 hours of sleep each week night. I say plan because I know there are women (maybe even men) reading this that have babies. Plan to get 9. Psychologists recommend 7-9 hours of sleep with 9 hours being the best you can aim for since there is a thing called REM (which you can look up, it is a big deal though when it come to sleeping in 3 hour increments).
  • Take care of your mind – Unfollow and unfriend toxicity and allow yourself to turn off the electronics once in a while. Resist lurking people’s profiles that tend to upset you and resist the urge to read the comment section of your local news stations on Facebook. Better your life in these ways and I promise affirmations will help you think in a more positive light.
  • Start saying “no” – saying no when that is what you want or need to say will literally change your life. I promise you.
  • Know when to ask for help – put your pride aside and understand that sometimes we need a little help. Like, if you’re exhausted and have a lot of chores and the baby won’t stop crying — call for help. Don’t feel ashamed. If you’re overwhelmed with studying, ask for help so you can understand or take initiative and ask to copy notes if you had to take a rest day from school (college). Know when to ask for help, and don’t feel ashamed.
  • Know that you’re important, but don’t overdue yourself – You are important! People need you and some rely on you, however, don’t let that take over your life. Make some time for you. Create windows for when you will allow yourself to help others and create windows where you give time to only you.
  • Eat Healthier – Keeping in mind what you put into your body will help you in so many ways. Your body will thank you.

Now keep in mind, once you start putting yourself first you will feel guilty, as it is new to you and you are figuring out the balance. Remind yourself why you need to put yourself first and that it is okay to feel guilty but you don’t have to feel guilty. You may have feelings where you feel selfish, shake those ideas out of your head because practicing the ways to put yourself first I gave you are anything but selfish! Most of those things are necessities!

If you feel that people will judge you or they’re thinking bad of you because you’re putting yourself you must let go of those thoughts and if they come at you in negative ways they are toxic, you may need to cut them off, or simply let them know why and ENCOURAGE THEM to put themselves first too.

If you decide to use those methods or to put this whole blog post to use in your life, please let me know. Leave a comment if there was something I missed that you personally do and subscribe to this blog for more posts like this! And follow me on Instagram for more inspiration where I post affirmations everyday on my stories and a lot of self love content. Feel free to even shoot me a DM, let’s conversate! All conversations stay confidential unless you give me permission to share. I will never ask to share though, it is purely if you want me to. I hope you have a blessed day and keep slaying! Instagram is @lifewithcaitie.

Some More Blogs Like This One:

How To Let Go Of What You’re Holding Onto

Letting go is something hard to do sometimes I know this from experience after experience. I have lost connections with good friends of my past, I have had to let go of situations that have caused me trauma even at a young age. I have tried to suppress anger, guilt, sadness only for it to go south and never leave – to be forever engraved into my skull. (I get poetic sometimes, sorry if that was too dark!)

There are so many people in this world that have felt what I felt, or feel what I feel which is why it was important for me to start this series on selfcare and selflove as well as body positivity. I don’t want to get too much into my story this early on in the series as well as since I created this blog for all of us! I want to help, not sulk or make this about me. This is about all of us who have felt these negative emotions and gone through tough situations. Read ahead to learn the best tips on how we can let go of this weight we carry on our shoulders that do in fact, affect the way we live day after day. It is time for us to let go and live as our best selves!

Distance Yourself!

I know many people tell you to do this, listen to them. It really does help when you distance yourself from things that no longer serve you for the good. Whether it be people, a thought, a situation, etc. It is time to put a wall between you and that said item.

Don’t Focus on the Outcomes!

Don’t get yourself invested and obsessive over what is going to happen. This just causes unnecessary stress that you really don’t need at the moment. Instead, have faith. Have faith in yourself knowing that whatever happens, it will only result in you getting stronger and more self-aware. When you trade fear for faith it tends to really help build your confidence and mind in positive ways. This is a part of self-growth individuals deserve to recognize.

Talk About It!

Everyone dreads talking about their feelings for so many irrelevant reasons. We think we are a burden or a “Debbie-downer” however, none of those are the case! Talking about the way we feel should NOT make someone uncomfortable if they are a real friend or a good family member. We also can always contact professional help to listen to us too. Don’t feel ashamed, every single person on this planet has something going on in their lives. Talking about your feelings will help you. Don’t you even think about being “edgy” and push your emotions away to avoid talking about it. Maybe if it is really hard for you to talk about your feelings, invest in a journal! I journal all the time and it really does help me tons.

Let Go of the Idea That You Can Control the Situation!

Let go of the idea that you can control people or the situation. You do however, have control over yourself; keep composure and analyze what is exactly going on. Will this situation serve you no matter the outcome? Now is the time to make decisions for yourself so don’t stress about others or the situation itself. You can remove yourself from the equation altogether if that is also what you want.

Stop Blaming Yourself!

Stop blaming yourself and others (depending on situation). Something I tell everyone including myself is that if you continue to blame yourself (or others), you will never get over the situation no matter what other tips or pieces of advice you follow. You must take one breath in, and out. Realize that it is over now and you are in complete control about what you do with that realization. Stop blaming yourself for starters.

Accept What Has Happened!

Once something is over with it, this kind of goes hand in hand with the fact you need to stop blaming yourself. Accept what happened and think of ways you can move on. Simple as that! Following all these other tips can also help you accept what happened.

Forgive!!!

Another tip that goes hand in hand with how you need to stop blaming! You must forgive that person or yourself so you can fully let go of this situation. I know how hard it is to forgive others, it can be so so hard. But we must not forget our worth and how people do have the chance to change. Even if they can change – if you don’t want to see them again, you can still forgive them.

Practice Being in the Present!

Practice being in the present and aware of what is going on right this second. This will help you keep going after you finally have let go what you were holding onto. Practice not only being in the present for your emotions but practice for yourself. Being in the present is a beautiful thing. Focus on living life right now. It is time for us to quit sobbing over the past. We cannot change what has happened/occurred in our past, but we can change what happens in our future (depending on what it is of course). Don’t even bother worrying about the future either! Live in the now.

Focus On Yourself!

After all is said and done… FOCUS ON YOURSELF! We need to start focusing on ourselves now, our own lives. Do what is best for you and not for others (unless of course your kids are involved).

Engage in Selfcare & Selflove

Finally, engage in some selfcare activities. Start journaling (I have great February Journal Prompts for you to use over on my Instagram just click here!), start doing things you love or enjoy, start putting yourself first… start living for you and not them!!! Selfcare is one of the best practices in the world – and most of the time, free!

Follow me on Instagram so you can stay up to date with this series. I also have so much more going on in my stories on this subject, go have a look! Read some captions, and start loving yourself now! Happy February! New blogs every Friday this month, so subscribe to the blog for more! Thank you for reading! ❤

How To Love Yourself Completely

I recently have just begun to understand myself more and am falling in love with my self more and more every day. Yeah I guess that sounds kind of self-centered or absorbed, but loving yourself isn’t of that nature. Genuinely loving yourself, is a gift to yourself, the best gift you can ever give yourself. Putting yourself first, or treating yourself like a queen/king doesn’t make you, “self-centered” or “absorbed” and we need to stress that more in this generation and life in general as well. Repeat after me, “LOVING YOURSELF ISN’T A SIN, NOR IS IT VANITY” or if you prefer me not to be so ‘religious’ then repeat this line instead, “LOVING YOURSELF DOESN’T MAKE YOU SELF CENTERED” in fact, it makes us brighter human beings, with a more positive outlook on our lives.

As you read through this blog and the steps to loving yourself ‘completely’, keep in mind this may or may not work for you, but if it does you can find more content like this on my Instagram @lifewithcaitie or simply subscribe to my blog below or click the about me tab and find the subscribe form there. If you need to contact me, go to that tab and fill out the form. Please feel free to email me with any questions, concerns, or simply if you need an ear to vent to. I hope you receive great value from this blog, enjoy.

Steps to loving ones’ self:

I recently found a website that basically stated that loving yourself comes in 4 steps. At first, I felt that was super silly, but after taking it personally and literally I found that that statement is almost true. At least, it is definitely true to me.

Step One

Step one consists of treating yourself as if you were your spouse or someone you cared about. It is putting yourself and your needs first, and treating yourself how you should.

What you should do in this step:

  • Set Boundaries. Set some boundaries! Remove anything and ALL THINGS TOXIC in your life whether it be people, activities, or habits you may have. For example, this could simply be you removing friends from you friends list that are not adding any positive influence in your life, or quitting smoking. I had to block some people on Facebook and Instagram, and let me tell ya… one of the BEST THINGS I’ve ever done.
  • Prioritize sleep! Even I cannot stress this enough! Your body cannot function correctly if you do not have enough sleep! Please plan on 8-9 hours of sleep each night. What I have been doing is I have been going to bed at 9, sleeping at 10, and waking up at around 7 or 8 o’clock during the week. I do realize a lot of us have nine-to-five’s and need to be up and ready by 7, well, simply go to sleep around 9, and you can wake up at around 5 or 6 am instead, that should give you 8 to 9 hours of sleep. But look, even if you cannot set a good sleep schedule, at least sleep in a little on the weekends, and go to bed early if your’e a morning person. Night owls, maybe try working later, and sleeping later if that makes sense? Either way, make sleep a priority! Your body will thank you.
  • Meditate or Exercise! I have met people that are basically on their feet all day, so they tell me that they choose to meditate throughout the day, and more often than they choose to exercise. I prefer to exercise, but you should do what you feel you should. Honestly, my advice would be to set aside time for both. I am not good at meditating whatsoever, so I kind of keep a balance between both, but I definitely lean more towards exercise!
  • Eat healthy. Eating healthy is definitely something everyone should do, or practice. I am not saying you should cut out all the sugar in the world and become vegan or anything extreme, I just advise people to have a balanced diet/meal plan. I try to incorporate almost all food groups in each meal. Here is an example of my meal plan: Breakfast – One Meat, Eggs, and Fruit with Milk. Lunch- One Meat, Veggie, Fruit, and a choice between a Bread item or Yogurt. Dinner- One Meat, Veggie/Fruit, and a choice between a Starch or Bread Item. I normally don’t drink soda, however, when I do, I choose a diet or a zero calorie soda such as Coca-cola Zero or Diet Coco-cola. I have had so many people tell me that it is bad for you but a nutritionist I met said they are claims, not proven 100% fact. I do agree though, try if you can to stay away from aspartame and artificial sweeteners.
  • Express Gratitude often. Start and keep a gratitude journal, or simply add that part into your journal! I usually take about 10 minutes and use my mental health journal (if you would like a blog post about how to start and what goes in a mental health journal let me know) to write down 3 to five things I am grateful for each night. Others choose to do theirs in the morning, but I prefer night because I actually remember to do it. Another way to express gratitude would be to let people in your life know you are thankful for them!
  • Have Fun! Sometimes, adults just want to have fun (also including young adults)! Make a play date with one of your best friends or you significant other and go have fun! I’m sure you can find quite a bit of fun places to go to in or surrounding your city! For me (in Lexington Ky) there is an indoor trampoline park (on Brannon Crossing) and I love unwinding and relieving all my stress there with my friends!

Step Two

Step two consists of you realizing that we are human. You are human. And humans have their flaws that we need to recognize and sometimes even, embrace.

What you should do in this step:

  • Forgive Yourself. Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you have made. I had to learn this one the hard way. Sometimes, we all do. Darling, just forgive yourself, even if no one else can. You deserve forgiveness no matter what.
  • Let Go of Grudges! It is time to move on! You owe it to yourself to let go of things that are no longer relevant. I recently had just let go of a grudge I was holding against one of my family member’s ‘spouse’ and it honestly was such a wholesome feeling. Not only do I get to see ‘my little baby’ but now I can have conversations with her like a civil adult without dread.
  • Remember that you are Human. Humans can be pretty messed up from time to time. Sometimes we have messed up thoughts, or we have messed up actions. Good thing is we can always be the bigger person and refrain, or apologize for our actions.

Step Three

Step three consists of you going through a time machine back into your childhood or past in general. You will definitely discover a few things, and understand.

What to do in this step:

  • Just think about you life so far and what you can do to keep going.

Step Four

Step four consists of self-acceptance.

What you should do in this step:

  • Embrace all you have to Offer! If you have a talent, share is in a positive way! My talent is writing, and singing. Often times I will either sing at my home church or I will come on here and write blogs for you guys! I am choosing to use my talent to serve others, and that is why I truly believe the universe gifts us with the talents we pick up.
  • Share your Story! Do you have a ‘story’? Something you can share with the world, or perhaps even help others by sharing? In 2017 I released a very personal article which you can view by clicking: here. The article is my #MeToo story, and it talks about the abuse and the rape encounter that happened to me in my abusive relationship and how I dealt with it. I am also currently working on a book about my story as well to keep up with that subscribe to my blog and follow my Instagram.The point is, if you want to heal, and if you feel up to it, sharing your story can help millions. I highly suggest it. You can create a free account on Vocal which is a website where you can write articles and poems, etc. You can also get paid depending on the views you get per article!
  • Keep Going… Loving yourself completely, may or may not ever be achieved, however, it is possible. It is a process, and will take time. Just keep going.

Before you go…

Here is a downloadable image you can save and view everyday or as much as you like. I do not own the rights to this image or quote, but I also follow and live by this everyday. To save to your mobile device, hold down with a finger, and click “save image” . I hope you beautiful souls have a great rest of your day/week/year/LIFE! And remember, LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SELF-CENTERED, got it? Good!

Oh, and if you are not a girl, I apologize (:

As always, thank you for reading and subscribing! If you want more content like this, let me know! Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram here!

(Makeup in pics above by Alyssa Vollmer)