I recently have just begun to understand myself more and am falling in love with my self more and more every day. Yeah I guess that sounds kind of self-centered or absorbed, but loving yourself isn’t of that nature. Genuinely loving yourself, is a gift to yourself, the best gift you can ever give yourself. Putting yourself first, or treating yourself like a queen/king doesn’t make you, “self-centered” or “absorbed” and we need to stress that more in this generation and life in general as well. Repeat after me, “LOVING YOURSELF ISN’T A SIN, NOR IS IT VANITY” or if you prefer me not to be so ‘religious’ then repeat this line instead, “LOVING YOURSELF DOESN’T MAKE YOU SELF CENTERED” in fact, it makes us brighter human beings, with a more positive outlook on our lives.
As you read through this blog and the steps to loving yourself ‘completely’, keep in mind this may or may not work for you, but if it does you can find more content like this on my Instagram @lifewithcaitie or simply subscribe to my blog below or click the about me tab and find the subscribe form there. If you need to contact me, go to that tab and fill out the form. Please feel free to email me with any questions, concerns, or simply if you need an ear to vent to. I hope you receive great value from this blog, enjoy.
Steps to loving ones’ self:
I recently found a website that basically stated that loving yourself comes in 4 steps. At first, I felt that was super silly, but after taking it personally and literally I found that that statement is almost true. At least, it is definitely true to me.
Step one consists of treating yourself as if you were your spouse or someone you cared about. It is putting yourself and your needs first, and treating yourself how you should.
What you should do in this step:
- Set Boundaries. Set some boundaries! Remove anything and ALL THINGS TOXIC in your life whether it be people, activities, or habits you may have. For example, this could simply be you removing friends from you friends list that are not adding any positive influence in your life, or quitting smoking. I had to block some people on Facebook and Instagram, and let me tell ya… one of the BEST THINGS I’ve ever done.
- Prioritize sleep! Even I cannot stress this enough! Your body cannot function correctly if you do not have enough sleep! Please plan on 8-9 hours of sleep each night. What I have been doing is I have been going to bed at 9, sleeping at 10, and waking up at around 7 or 8 o’clock during the week. I do realize a lot of us have nine-to-five’s and need to be up and ready by 7, well, simply go to sleep around 9, and you can wake up at around 5 or 6 am instead, that should give you 8 to 9 hours of sleep. But look, even if you cannot set a good sleep schedule, at least sleep in a little on the weekends, and go to bed early if your’e a morning person. Night owls, maybe try working later, and sleeping later if that makes sense? Either way, make sleep a priority! Your body will thank you.
- Meditate or Exercise! I have met people that are basically on their feet all day, so they tell me that they choose to meditate throughout the day, and more often than they choose to exercise. I prefer to exercise, but you should do what you feel you should. Honestly, my advice would be to set aside time for both. I am not good at meditating whatsoever, so I kind of keep a balance between both, but I definitely lean more towards exercise!
- Eat healthy. Eating healthy is definitely something everyone should do, or practice. I am not saying you should cut out all the sugar in the world and become vegan or anything extreme, I just advise people to have a balanced diet/meal plan. I try to incorporate almost all food groups in each meal. Here is an example of my meal plan: Breakfast – One Meat, Eggs, and Fruit with Milk. Lunch- One Meat, Veggie, Fruit, and a choice between a Bread item or Yogurt. Dinner- One Meat, Veggie/Fruit, and a choice between a Starch or Bread Item. I normally don’t drink soda, however, when I do, I choose a diet or a zero calorie soda such as Coca-cola Zero or Diet Coco-cola. I have had so many people tell me that it is bad for you but a nutritionist I met said they are claims, not proven 100% fact. I do agree though, try if you can to stay away from aspartame and artificial sweeteners.
- Express Gratitude often. Start and keep a gratitude journal, or simply add that part into your journal! I usually take about 10 minutes and use my mental health journal (if you would like a blog post about how to start and what goes in a mental health journal let me know) to write down 3 to five things I am grateful for each night. Others choose to do theirs in the morning, but I prefer night because I actually remember to do it. Another way to express gratitude would be to let people in your life know you are thankful for them!
- Have Fun! Sometimes, adults just want to have fun (also including young adults)! Make a play date with one of your best friends or you significant other and go have fun! I’m sure you can find quite a bit of fun places to go to in or surrounding your city! For me (in Lexington Ky) there is an indoor trampoline park (on Brannon Crossing) and I love unwinding and relieving all my stress there with my friends!
Step two consists of you realizing that we are human. You are human. And humans have their flaws that we need to recognize and sometimes even, embrace.
What you should do in this step:
- Forgive Yourself. Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you have made. I had to learn this one the hard way. Sometimes, we all do. Darling, just forgive yourself, even if no one else can. You deserve forgiveness no matter what.
- Let Go of Grudges! It is time to move on! You owe it to yourself to let go of things that are no longer relevant. I recently had just let go of a grudge I was holding against one of my family member’s ‘spouse’ and it honestly was such a wholesome feeling. Not only do I get to see ‘my little baby’ but now I can have conversations with her like a civil adult without dread.
- Remember that you are Human. Humans can be pretty messed up from time to time. Sometimes we have messed up thoughts, or we have messed up actions. Good thing is we can always be the bigger person and refrain, or apologize for our actions.
Step three consists of you going through a time machine back into your childhood or past in general. You will definitely discover a few things, and understand.
What to do in this step:
- Just think about you life so far and what you can do to keep going.
Step four consists of self-acceptance.
What you should do in this step:
- Embrace all you have to Offer! If you have a talent, share is in a positive way! My talent is writing, and singing. Often times I will either sing at my home church or I will come on here and write blogs for you guys! I am choosing to use my talent to serve others, and that is why I truly believe the universe gifts us with the talents we pick up.
- Share your Story! Do you have a ‘story’? Something you can share with the world, or perhaps even help others by sharing? In 2017 I released a very personal article which you can view by clicking: here. The article is my #MeToo story, and it talks about the abuse and the rape encounter that happened to me in my abusive relationship and how I dealt with it. I am also currently working on a book about my story as well to keep up with that subscribe to my blog and follow my Instagram.The point is, if you want to heal, and if you feel up to it, sharing your story can help millions. I highly suggest it. You can create a free account on Vocal which is a website where you can write articles and poems, etc. You can also get paid depending on the views you get per article!
- Keep Going… Loving yourself completely, may or may not ever be achieved, however, it is possible. It is a process, and will take time. Just keep going.
Before you go…
Here is a downloadable image you can save and view everyday or as much as you like. I do not own the rights to this image or quote, but I also follow and live by this everyday. To save to your mobile device, hold down with a finger, and click “save image” . I hope you beautiful souls have a great rest of your day/week/year/LIFE! And remember, LOVING YOURSELF DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SELF-CENTERED, got it? Good!
Oh, and if you are not a girl, I apologize (:
As always, thank you for reading and subscribing! If you want more content like this, let me know! Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram here!
(Makeup in pics above by Alyssa Vollmer)