What is Manipulation?
What is manipulation you may ask? Well the definiton for this term is: The action of manipulating someone in a clever or unscrupulous way. (per, Oxford Languages/Google Search)
Now that we have started the technical term let’s get into the signs you need to watch for! I will explain them in detail as well as share my experiences with each sign. This is so important so please read further! Also note that manipulation can occur between the beginning and middle of your relationship, it could also possibly last/go on throughout.
Signs That You Are Being Manipulated:
- Getting too close too quickly – I touched on this sign when I went over “love-bombing” so I will just briefly explain. So honestly, moving too fast is a huge sign for so many things relating to unhealthy relationships, hence why I suggest all couples dating to take things slow.
- They always let you speak first – This is a control tactic. Allowing you to speak first gives them the advantage to cultivate the ultimate response or answer, initially used to manipulate you or groom you.
- They twist the facts – They will or may alter their reality and use misstatements in order to make themselves look better or to confuse you. We will touch more on this when we get to the topic of gaslighting.
- They are intellectual bullies – They will use big words and belittle you making them see like they have an advantage when it comes to math or other knowledge. I seen this particularly with math so they can control the finances.
- They invalidate your problems and belittle your achievements – For example you may be super tired from work. You get home and they get home let’s say around the same time. You start talking about something that bothered you at work – they stop you in the middle of the conversation and start talking about their own problems and then they mention why they have it worse than you. OR for example, you get a promotion at work, they may downplay it by mentioning one of their coworkers or somebody they know getting one as well.
- They will apologize then lay the blame on you – I have a strong connection to this sign because I lived through this the most out of all the other ones. One day at school I was playing Uno with boys and maybe like 1 girl (doesn’t matter) and he was watching me through the door’s long rectangle window. He sent me a text and said some very un nice things. Me being me and worried about losing him I texted him over and over apologizing and etc., so then he proceeds to ignore me all night. Next day he brought flowers to school and apologized but not in the way one should apologize. His exact words, “I am so sorry I ignored you… but you made me mad and I couldn’t control my anger..” me being naïve at the time accepted that silly apology. DO NOT SETTLE FOR THIS YOU ALL!
- They like to have the home-turf advantage – Meaning they prefer to meet and do things on their own time & place usually being their house or their favourite spots. If this happens all the time, run. This was used against me to groom me into the term, “isolation”, which is when I lost all my friends whether they were boys or girls, and to lose time I could have spent with MY family.
Those are just some of the signs. I encourage you all to look this stuff up and research! Also please watch my YouTube video for this series part 2 for more by CLICKING HERE! Thank you for reading.
If you would like to share your story please share it and do not forget to use the hashtag, #PurpleRibbonWeek to show your support for Domestic Violence Awareness Month! If you would like to share your story anonymously please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Do you think you’re being love-bombed? CLICK HERE TO READ MORE ABOUT THAT TOPIC!